Sorry

Apologies to both my readers. Since Wednesday I haven't had time or access to the Internet. I just got into London from a weekend at Oxford and, before that, a quick day in Paris. I'm on my phone right now so I'll try to get on my laptop and write up a long new post tomorrow evening or morning. Until then...

I See Your Veal and Raise You a Foie Gras

The Frommer's guidebook to Switzerland and the poorly-written website of Lac Leman's biggest boat service can suck it. I was led by both to believe that, if I woke up at 6 and headed down to the quayside, I could board a paddle steamer for an all-day cruise around the entire lake with stops in Lausanne, Montreux, Evian, etc. Needless to say, that's not the case, and I was hours too early for the first cruise of the day. To calm down, I headed to the original Davidoff store on Rue Rive, (Geneva's version of 5th Ave., Newbury St., what have you), where they had a selection of their own Dominican cigars as well as boxes of Havana Cohibas. Ignoring the US embargo on Cuba, (which, as we all know, led to Castro's downfall mere weeks after it was implemented in February 1962. Score one for America!) I feasted on the forbidden fruit on the lakeshore while pretending to understand the day's issue of le Monde. Needing to get the taste of socialism out of my mouth, I hiked out again to Vielle Ville (Old Town) to scout out the cafes.
On the way to lunch I stumbled on the house of Albert Gallatin. The plaque on his birthplace sure sounded impressive and, one Wikipedia search later, I learned that he was a Swiss emigre to the US way back in the day, had a hand in crafting Pennsylvania's Constitution, was a US senator, held the job of Secretary of the Treasury under Jefferson and Madison for 12 years (still the longest term ever - that's his statue outside the US Treasury in DC), helped found NYU and plan the Lewis and Clark expedition, and essentially created the field of Native American studies, all while being decried by politicians and the public as a shifty French-accented foreigner. Of course, with these modest achievements it's no wonder every American schoolchild knows the name... Gallatin.

Settling down into a table in Cafe Papon, I noticed that the menu advertised that the cafe had moved to its 'new' location in 1617. I ordered le menu (a three-course meal), and drowned myself in a meal of sea bass, creme brulee and foie gras. The foie gras (illegal in several US states/cities - sorry, animal lovers) was amazing, and the fact that it was made from geese, the birds from the 5th circle, made it all the sweeter.
Then it was on to more sightseeing. I hit up the austere church where John Calvin preached against the Man and Indulgences. Off to the side of the pews was a special roped-off section reserved for Calvin's chair, from which he fought the Power while resting his dainty feet.

... and then off to the Musee d'art et d'histoire, which had a huge ancient Egypt section as well as its fair share of van Gogh, Rodin, Renoir, Monet and Cezanne. Although the museum itself seemed to be feeling its age, every room had brand-new temperature, humidity and earthquake monitors - the museum may be falling down around them but the caretakers will never be taken surprise by a sudden 2 degree humidity spike, I'll tell you that much.

Remember Yesterday's Headline News?...

Kidnapped Americans Released

Well that was a short turnaround time. I think the Yemenis have "kidnap Americans to force government concessions" down to a science at this point.

More Good News

If there's one thing the Arab world loves, it's secret foreign military operations that help confirm their already strongly-held conspiracy theories.

U.S. Is Said to Expand Secret Military Acts in Mideast Region

Gems as they pertain to my summer:

"The authorized activities could strain relationships with friendly governments like Saudi Arabia or Yemen"

"Special Operations troops began working with Yemen’s military to try to dismantle Al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula, an affiliate of Osama bin Laden’s terror network based in Yemen. The Pentagon has also carried out missile strikes from Navy ships into suspected militant hideouts and plans to spend more than $155 million equipping Yemeni troops with armored vehicles, helicopters and small arms."

"Unlike covert actions undertaken by the C.I.A., such clandestine activity does not require the president’s approval or regular reports to Congress"

Vielle Ville

Ah, Geneva. Discovered by the Germans in 1834, the name of the city means "a whale's..."*

To get on track... Started off yesterday with a trip over to the Jet d'Eau, a giant water fountain that's the emblem of the city. Based on a jetty in the middle of the harbor, it shoots 132 gallons of water per second 460 feet into the air. You can walk right up to the thing but once I got within 50 yards the winds shifted and I got soaked, so fail. After sitting for a while on the neighboring quay and watching persistent Japanese tourists try to get as close to the fount as possible before they slipped on the wet cobblestone and ate it, I walked over to the Jardin Anglais to fulfill the second of my two touristy obligations: to see the flower clock. It was a little underwhelming since all the flowers that make up the clock face bloom in June. The clock itself keeps perfect time, which is expected from the capital city of clockmaking - out of all the money spent in the world on watches, 55% of it is spent on watches made in Geneva (for those of you going, "Wait, I thought the Japanese made almost every watch" just think about how many boatloads of Seikos one Patek Philippe could buy).

From there I took in the other tourist sites of the left bank: a statue the city dedicated to its hall-of-famer Rousseau, a 13th-century tower with a plaque commemorating a visit by Caesar, the city's old arsenal replete with 17th century cannons, and the Hotel-de-Ville, the town hall where Geneva declared its independence, where the Red Cross was founded, and where you can still walk up to the top of the center tower and knock on the office door of what's Geneva's governor, essentially - I refrained from doing so because I think the Swiss lack the humor to appreciate that.

For lunch I stopped at a sidewalk cafe where my meal of fliets de perches meuniere, fresh from the lake, cost two nights' stay at the hostel and where, yet again, I somehow managed to order a bottle of carbonated water - or as I call it, the Tears of Satan. I wandered around the city some more when I came on a park filled with Swiss men doing their best to look serious while they moved around giant chess pieces with both hands. They almost succeeded.

Making it back to my hostel and its fin-de-siecle elegance, I took a siesta and then headed to the English pub on the street corner, Mr. Pickwick's. I was able to watch the Suns beat the Lakers, England beat Mexico, and two Jack and Cokes beat my wallet (36 Francs for two little glasses... at .90 Francs to the dollar).
Yes, things are extremely expensive in Geneva, but it seems that the Genevese do quite well for themselves. I've seen more $100,000+ cars than the rest of my life combined, and am now familiar with the most recent models of Maseratis, Porches, Audis, Ferraris, Lamborghinis, Mercedes, BMWs, Saleens, Bentleys, Rolls-Royces and Aston Martins. But then again all the expensive cars make sense as you'd have to have $100 bills coming out the wazoo to enjoy a night out here.

And to wrap this up, here's a video I took from my park bench of the Jet d'Eau firing up for the day.


*For those of you keeping score at home, that's two Anchorman references in as many days.

How Reassuring

Two Americans Kidnapped in Yemen

UPDATE: I have since reassured myself with a scoop of medicinal gelato. It's science.

Geneve

Right now I'm sitting on a park bench on Quai Gustave Ador. Got into Geneva yesterday on an Aer Lingus flight, and I have to hand it to the Irish; half of their national airline's in-flight magazine was dedicated to bar reviews from cities around the globe, and during 9 am breakfast in Dublin I noticed I was the only person not drinking from the help-yourself Guinness fountains (a problem I quickly remedied due to my cultural sensitivity).

So far in Geneva I've found that I vastly overestimated the amount of English speakers. Everyone here speaks French along with fluent Italian and German but God help you if you ask someone which train brings you to the City Center in English. And it's amazingly embarrassing to run around to different stores looking for shower gel asking "gel douche?" "gel douche?"

After an hour-and-a-half on public buses that brought my to the wrong side of the river (the city's split in half by the Rhone) I finally found where I'd be spending the night. Did I make reservations at:
a) Beau Rivage, favorite haunt of the Czars and billionaires,
b) Hotel President Wilson, where rooms start at 800 a night and suites can be had for 8000, or
c) the city hostel that costs less per night than I pay for lunch?
I'll let y'all figure that mindbender out on your own.

After checking in I ordered some food by grunting and pointing and then passed out. Today I'm walking around the city to get my bearings and brush up on my pitiful French. I leave you now for the pleasure of reading a lunch menu and mangling my pronunciation of the food, though as long as I don't end up with au pied de cochon I think I'll survive.

Boston Logan

So as most of y'all know, I'm shipping off to Not-America today to spend my summer learning Arabic in Yemen and I'm bookending that with a couple weeks in Europe. I'm writing this blog because, with $3-a-minute phone calls and my disavowal of Facebook, it seems like the best way to keep in touch.

Here's the general plan of how the summer should turn out: four days in and around Geneva, a day in Paris, a weekend in Oxford, then the rest of the week in London. I fly through Qatar and get into Sana'a,Yemen June 6th. I'll be studying Arabic there for 10 weeks with a long weekend halfway through that I may spend in the Isle of Socotra or Addis Ababa. On the weekends my school has trips to Hadramawt (hometown of the bin Ladens! - I'll see if they have an Osama walking tour), Aden, and various other towns and wadis. Then I fly back into London. I haven't bought my plane ticket back home yet so feel free to send suggestions of places to go and things to see.

It should be a great summer and a fairly safe one, with the only possible danger coming from being kidnapped by Houthi Rebels, kidnapped by al-Qa'eda, kidnapped by friendly tribesmen, kidnapped by hostile tribesmen or kidnapped by pirates. But of course the sad reality is that nighttime New Orleans is far more dangerous than Yemen, and although you hear about rebel violence and a bombing every so often (the most recent being the attentat-suicide on the British ambassador) I'll be in infinitely more danger from melanoma and, of course, the general lack of triple-ply toilet paper in one of the poorest nations on earth.

I'll do my best to update every day or two with pictures, although once I get in Yemen it may drop off in frequency due to the rarity of Internet access outside the confines of my school (the Yemen College of MIddle Eastern Studies).

I expect to sail on Lake Geneve, cycle between Swiss vineyards, plant an American flag on the Eiffel Tower (USA! USA! USA!), watch the Queen's Coronation Anniversary cavalry charge and gun salute in Hyde Park, chew hallucinogenic Qat in a circle of Yemenis, and drop a great deal of weight due to the combination of my picky tastes and dysentery.

P.S. As for a comments section, I'm wary of it. I'm allowing it now but I don't think it'll last long due to three inevitables: 8 posts a day from immediate family (you know who you are, Mom), the profanity (restrain yourselves, Whitfield), and general apathy from everyone else. So we'll see how that goes.